She would sleep in her bassinet from birth to 3 months without a problem, but at the age of 3 months we moved to a larger apartment to accommodate our little beloved. She stopped after the birth of her third child because there was no room in the bed. If you relent or change course by letting your little one back into your room even for a night or two, it’ll only prolong the transition and make it harder for everyone. We never co-slepted but it helped break the feed-to-sleep cycle when he started comfort feeding every 30 mins at 6 months. 6. Bringing you child back to her room every time: If your child does not want to sleep on your floor and insists on disturbing you every night, you need to walk him back to their own room. 5. With my first son, I did not co sleep until he was 3 months old. “We have to cut these kids some slack,” says McGinn. Co-sleeping is dangerous if we look at the news. If … I wouldn't mind it at all if he went in his cot for the first part of the night and came in with me after that but he won't go in the cot at all. It may also be helpful to reach out to a sleep consultant who can help you come up with a sleep training plan that you’re comfortable with. There’s no right or wrong way to transition from co-sleeping, and your pediatrician can certainly weigh in on what might work well for your child. Sooty8. (This is your happy medium!) Separate beds.If you’re not comfortable with baby in your bed or if you are currently sleeping with baby and no one is getting any sleep, then try other options. Then she started waking up about 4 am, so we would just put her in bed with us for the next hour or so til we got up the our older children. When she turned 9 months she didn’t want to eat my milk anymore and I decided that it’s the best time to teach her to fall asleep on her own in her crib. A bath, a soothing book or two and some sweet snuggle time is an easy way to set the stage for sleep, but of course, customize the routine to fit your family’s needs. Moving your tot into a new room at the same time that he’s dealing with other major events can leave him feeling overwhelmed or even scared. another form of co-sleeping called bed-sharing, How to Keep Your Sleeping Baby Safe: AAP Policy Explained, Toddler Bedtime Trouble: Tips for Parents, Bed-Sharing in Toddlerhood: Choice Versus Necessity and Provider Guidelines, 10 Tricks to Ease the Transition from Crib to Toddler Bed, , Toddler Sleep Problems and Bedtime Battles, SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Updated 2016 Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment, Mother-Infant Room-Sharing and Sleep Outcomes in the INSIGHT Study, Perceived Toddler Sleep Problems, Co-Sleeping and Maternal Sleep and Mental Health, Everything You Need to Know About Co-Sleeping, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. There are some days he goee to bed before 8:30pm and some days he doesn’t go to sleep till after 9:00pm. November 2, 2019. An excited, energetic toddler is tough to get to bed — and the same is true for one who's overly exhausted. Co-sleeping may have seemed like a good idea at one point, but over time it’s anything but restful and, in fact, it creates additional stress for the entire family. My 9 month old went from waking all night to feed to putting herself to sleep and sleeping for 11 hours (while teething!) While toddlers should sleep in their own space, strangely enough this is the time when co-sleeping is most common. By Claire Gagne Then she and her husband and Bennett went out and bought new bedding with his favourite animals on it. Read more: Co-sleeping may have seemed like a good idea at one point, but over time it’s anything but restful and, in fact, it creates additional stress for the entire family. She was a great sleeper until she was 3 months old and has not been since. Going from spending all night in your room to spending all night alone in his room in one fell swoop would, understandably, be pretty hard! (Hello, privacy!). So they got Bennett a new big boy bed and Warren Lee slept in it with him, then moved to a separate mat on the floor. I don't think it has any bearing on sleeping through the night - that happened when he was ready - but it did help buy us some longer periods of sleep, as well as teach is how to help him nap for longer. Check your bedtime routine. © Copyright 2020 St. Joseph Communications. But if the anxiety is really getting in the way of sleep, or causing problems in other aspects of his life, it’s worth bringing it up with your child’s doctor. Then she started waking up about 4 am, so we would just put her in bed with us for the next hour or so til we got up the our older children. Okay, this is the tough part. It strengthened my bond with my baby. But that doesn’t mean that things aren’t changing in terms of what her son feels is appropriate. If your toddler wants to read the same story twice instead of picking out two different books or insists on taking a certain stuffed animal to bed, letting him have his way might make for a smoother night’s sleep. This builds on point four. .related-article-block{display:inline-block;width:300px;padding:0.5rem;margin-left:0.5rem;float:right;border:1px solid #ccc}@media (max-width: 525px){.related-article-block{float:none;display:block;width:280px;margin:0 auto 2rem}} (I suppose that is, in some sense, co-sleeping and, honestly, I had no problem with it. Definitions of co-sleeping range from sharing a bed to sharing a room.) It strengthened my bond with my baby. The thing is, at 5 months, your baby might very well be hungry at night still, so trying to force her to go back to sleep without nursing, may not work at all. Things change once your child hits toddlerhood. Is co-sleeping a bad habit that needs to stop when your child reaches a certain age? Whether you try the Ferber method, let your baby cry it out or use a more gradual method like sitting in the room in a chair and slowly moving the chair out of the room over several nights, sleep training teaches your baby to fall asleep independently. But that doesn’t mean that things aren’t changing in terms of what her son feels is appropriate. However, my 18 month old is co sleeping with me now and with my 4 year old still in the room they keep each other awake or wake each other up most nights…I was wondering if you transitioned your child to their own room after this? This could happen several times a night while you are transitioning. Just a few little questions for those of you who have co-slept with older babies. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. If you decide to stay in the nursery for a bit at bedtime, “try to leave the room when your baby is dozing off but not yet asleep,” she says. After that, the couple moved his crib into their room, removed the rail on one side and pushed it up against the bed. Since habits will become firmly entrenched at this age, now is the time to make the move. I have an almost 7 month old daughter and am trying desperately to get her to sleep in her crib. It can be helpful for your baby to sense you are near, so some moms sleep with their baby’s bed sheet before putting it in the crib. How to stop co-sleeping with your toddler. For kids who are in a bed and able to get out, some parents gently walk them back to their bed and say good night again. Ashleigh Warren-Lee didn’t set out to co-sleep with her baby, but she learned within the first few weeks of his life that wee Bennett slept best as close to her as possible. Since the guide lines on SIDS advocates the baby sleeping in the parents bedroom until the age of 6 months, this was what we did. She told me they never wanted to co-sleep for that long, but they just didn’t know how to stop at this point. For the first two weeks of your child being in their own bedroom you should ‘room in’ with them, that means sleeping with them in their bed for the whole night for a fortnight (if they are on a cot or crib mattress you may want to use a … ). For the first two weeks of your child being in their own bedroom you should ‘room in’ with them, that means sleeping with them in their bed for the whole night for a fortnight (if they are on a cot or crib mattress you may want to … But if you put in the time at bedtime, they’ll need you less at midnight.”. Regardless of why parents start, there often comes a point when they’re ready to stop. I think that co-sleeping is wonderful! Come bedtime, decide ahead of time on what can slide and what’s non-negotiable. If your baby is six months or younger, experts recommend that the best place for him to sleep is on his back in a cot or Moses basket in the same room as you (Lullaby Trust 2019).This applies to his daytime naps as well as at night. It’s also okay to point out that parents need time by themselves. Someone Has (Finally) Found the Answer. National Institutes of Health, National Library of Medicine. But beyond the 12-month mark, there’s no hard-and-fast rule about when you should call it quits. Comfort items are an ideal way for your 10-month-old to get to sleep. by Jill (San Clemente, Ca, USA) Question: We are transitioning our 9 month old daughter to her own crib from the arms reach cosleeper crib in our room. For example, if your kid is still in their crib you could come in, reassure them that everything is OK, and then leave (even if they’re crying). With consistent use of strategies and limits regarding sleeping in their own bed, most children will learn typical sleep habits and patterns and remain in their beds for the duration of the night within 1-2 months. Whatever your reason,if you’re wondering how to stop cosleeping with your child, we have some tips including: ... 0-5 Months Old. Keep in mind that another form of co-sleeping called bed-sharing, which involves your baby or toddler sleeping in the same bed as you, is not recommended at all. Eventually, when he was 8 or 9 months old, we moved him into his own room, in his own small bed. We all sleep with no more than a sheet and the pillows we rest our heads on, no body pillows. 12 things to stop telling a parent who co-sleeps. The thing is, at 5 months, your baby might very well be hungry at night still, so trying to force her to go back to sleep … While sleep training methods can be effective for babies, your toddler will likely have an easier time making the switch gradually as opposed to going from co-sleeping to sleeping in his own room cold turkey. “I thought, ‘We cannot have two kids with us in this one room,’” she recalls. In fact, you should keep your bed off limits even for cuddling for the first three months after you’ve stopped co-sleeping, says Briggs. “And each night, move the chair further away from the crib toward the bedroom door.”. As for what kind of gradual approach is best? At that age, your baby is able to discern between things that he prefers, so a small toy or blanket can receive elevated status. Together, pick out a fun fitted sheet for the crib or a sheet and blanket set for his toddler bed, and personalize the space with a few beloved stuffed animals. By about age two, Bennett was successfully sleeping on his own in his room. We do bath every other night, but I have a problem with his bedtime schedule. He might simply feel scared about being on his own–in which case you can reassure him that you are nearby, and that his room is safe. Here's how to make the transition as easy as possible for everyone. Sleep… DESPERATELY. 26 September, 2017 . And if so, how? “We often rush it, because it’s the finish line and we want to get it done. Your kid will likely do some hardcore lobbying to get back into your bed, but don’t give in, says McGinn. Written by April Sanders . We had dutifully moved the boy from our bed to his crib and kept that in our room. For instance, if your child has a new sibling on the way, he might think he’s being replaced by the new baby, so Briggs suggests transitioning him to his own bed three to six months before or after the baby arrives, so the two events don’t seem related. Health information on this site is based on peer-reviewed medical journals and highly respected health organizations and institutions including ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists), CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), as well as the What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Ive tired the cry it out method for a few months and it wasn’t helping. My son just turned 9 months old. Shannon Lambert co-slept with her eight-year-old son until he was almost seven. Co-sleeping safely with an 11 month old. Start talking to your kid about the importance of sleep and how everyone will sleep better in their own beds, and give him a few days to get used to the idea before you start. Everything I read points to an 8 month old needs around 12 hours of sleep at night. Find advice, support, and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Co-sleeping babies actually spend more time sleeping on their back or side 1 which decreases the risk of SIDS. Replace co-sleeping cuddles with other activities, so your cutie doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on the one-on-one time with you that he loves. Choose a period when life is relatively calm and no other big changes — like a new baby, new school or caregiver, weaning or potty training — are happening. And there’s a good chance that everyone will snooze better in their own private spaces. And while it might be tempting to bring her into your bed for those last few hours of sleep after she wakes or feeds, she won’t get why it’s OK at 4 a.m., but not midnight. Even if you don’t plan to co-sleep with your baby regularly, there may be times when it's easier to bring him into your bed to comfort or feed him (Basis nda). A calm, soothing pre-bed routine helps your little one wind down and see bedtime as simply another part of his day. At this age, you should always start with communication, says McGinn. Why we ended up co-sleeping. The sleep deprivation I suffered added to my post partum depression. With my first son, I did not co sleep until he was 3 months old. But once your cutie rounds the corner to toddlerhood, you might start thinking about getting him into his own quarters. Child He is almost 3 month old and sleeps in our bed. Teach baby to fall asleep on her own. If you’ve been sleeping with your kid since he was a baby, expect a struggle about moving him into his own bed. You can still make it happen though. Your toddler may be more amenable to sleeping in a new space if he can make the room feel like his own. But it can absolutely be done, as long as you make a plan and stick with it — and exercise plenty of patience. A favourite stuffy to snuggle with can help them feel secure in their own room. “No, that’ll never be me,” I asserted when talking to her about it. It literally saved my life! Start the transition by making sure your baby has a safe place to sleep, without blankets, bumpers and stuffies, and that the room is dark. Hi. Give him a massage or stroke his hair and talk about his day for a few minutes once he’s in his crib or his bed before saying goodnight, for instance, or take 10 minutes to read books and snuggle in the morning before starting your day. Talk to them about why it’s important they sleep in their own bed and explain you’ll still have plenty of time for cuddles—they’ll just be during the day. For toddlers over 2, especially 2 1/2 and up, play up the fact that your cutie is a big kid now who is ready to spend the night on his own. Talk about the change ahead of time to help your child mentally prepare. You’re likely well aware that your toddler is a creature of habit. Sometimes kids are still sleeping with their parents at this age because they’ve never been given the chance to do anything else, says Briggs. Definitions of co-sleeping range from sharing a bed to sharing a room.) Even when your kid is sick and you feel like you want to be with them during the night, sleep in their room instead. When did you stop using a safety-rail on the bed? She began co-sleeping with her daughter at 6 months and continued doing so until our niece was 6 years old. Most parents around the world sleep with their babies, according to Ask. But we can’t sleep with our kids forever. “Many parents say, ‘but I take a nap, why can’t we take a nap together?’ But baby doesn’t understand that,” says Alanna McGinn, a sleep consultant in Burlington, Ont. In fact, you should keep your bed off limits even for cuddling for the first three months after you’ve stopped co-sleeping, says Briggs. Briggs recalls an eight-year-old client who strongly resisted sleeping on her own—but was already used to it by night three. Allow four weeks of adding in sleep cues (see below) to allow your child to become conditioned to them. No one sets out to co-sleep for life, but how do you break the habit? Sleep environments: what safest for babies? It’s completely normal to eventually become worn out from sharing a room with your little one and want your own space back. A noise machine can also help babies and kids of all ages sleep soundly. I also put my son on top of the sheet so that we cant accidentally pull it over his head and his head is bellow our pillows so that he cant somehow roll over and have his head against one of our pillows. Give that item only at bedtime, so your 10-month-old is eager to … Posted 10/09/2009. Remember that, at this age, your kid still needs a consistent bedtime routine filled with love and cuddles. But be sure to link it back to his independent sleep by saying something like, “Since we’re all so well-rested, we’ve got some energy to go out together today,” suggests Briggs. Hi Krystal, at 5 months, I would try the gentle method in this post, together with co-sleeping in a safe way and trying to maximize your own sleep with a variety of methods. Most kids will not pitch a huge fit in the middle of the night. But it’s not a healthy practice: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against bed-sharing because it increases a baby’s risk for SIDS. From the time she was a newborn to then, she slept in her bassinet to crib thru the most of the night with no problem. But you can practice safe co-sleeping if you put baby to sleep in a separate bassinet next to your bed—as opposed to in your bed. DS2 is 7 months and has never slept without me. My baby is 6.5 months old and since her 4 month sleep regression has generally woken between 2-5 times a night to feed or have a ... Read more on Netmums Gradually mom or dad begins helping him learn to fall asleep with less and less body contact, and resists snuggling during the night as much as possible. Further research shows that the carbon dioxide exhaled by a parent actually works to stimulate baby’s breathing 11. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. When I began co sleeping, I began to heal and my hormones balanced. The sleep deprivation I suffered added to my post partum depression. Consistency at this age is just as important as it is with a baby–don’t let your child sleep in your room under any circumstance during the transition and for at least three months afterwards, says Briggs. We have a 9 month old daughter who started co-sleeping with us a couple months ago. Put a halt to the bedtime habit with these tips for how to stop co-sleeping. When your kid is successful at sleeping on their own, it’s OK to reward them with a trip to the park or a special ice cream. It literally saved my life! Baby 6-12 Months Old. Here’s some more solid, expert-backed advice. Warren-Lee’s husband, meanwhile, was relegated to a twin mattress on the floor. Whether you’ve got a new baby on the way, you and your kid are not sleeping well or you’re just ready to have your bed back, here’s how to make your child’s transition out of your sleeping space and into their own as smooth as possible, no matter their age. Snoozing in the same room as your little one can promote safe sleep when he’s a baby. (ref 3) This leads to increased heart rate and blood pressure, which prevents restful sleep and may lead to long-term sleep anxiety. This could take anywhere from three nights to a few weeks–keep in mind the more gentle the process, the longer it will likely take, and you’ll have more success if you implement consistent routines and keep a watchful eye on when your baby is tired to make sure he naps and goes to bed when needed. Start the transition by making sure your baby has a safe place to sleep, without blankets, bumpers and stuffies, and that the room is dark. Your kids’ bad sleep habits are caused by co-sleeping. in just over a week, without being left to cry it out. We have a 9 month old daughter who started co-sleeping with us a couple months ago. You can slowly move the mattress further from the bed until you’re no longer in the room at all. That being said, if he does wake up at 430/5 (that’s what my second child did until 10 months) I would go in and nurse her, then put her back like its still night time (which it is that early! Problem is, even if you’re ready to get your bedroom back, chances are your tot is more than happy to continue right on with your current arrangement. There was the teen who left her baby alone on the bed as she snuck out to party at 4 a.m. like all grown-ups do, and now a 5-month-old … Co-sleeping means sleeping in close proximity to your baby, sometimes in the same bed and sometimes nearby in the same room (room-sharing). Others set out to co-sleep with their kids as a way to promote attachment. Help him feel confident by telling him that you know he’ll do great, and reassure him that he’ll get used to his new room (and come to love it), even if the change feels hard at first. The aim of these ‘comfort replacements’ is for your child to take comfort and security from them at night – both in going to sleep initially and when they wake. When I began co sleeping, I began to heal and my hormones balanced. Transitioning from co-sleeping to crib in a 9 month old, HELP!!! How long the transition takes really depends on your kid’s temperament and how consistent you are as a parent. The good news is your baby’s sleep habits are still highly adaptable at this age, but to train your infant to be comfortable in their own bassinet or crib, you’ll need to be consistent about making sure that all sleep happens in that space. Co-sleeping is often thought to be synonymous with bed sharing—aka letting baby sleep in the same bed with you. She stopped after the birth of her third child because there was no room in the bed. Co-sleeping infants rarely wake up during the night, says pediatrician and bestselling author Dr. Bill Sears, whereas those who sleep alone tend to startle and cry frequently. Bottom line: It’s perfectly fine to move your child into his own room anytime after his first birthday when you start to feel like the arrangement is no longer working. My four year old acts completely terrified of sleeping alone in her room. But co-sleeping can also mean simply putting baby to sleep in the same room as you but in a separate bed. In other words, bed-sharing is one way of co-sleeping. And the additional benefits I experienced with co sleeping were so precious. Every time. But you can still explain what’s happening in a matter-of-fact way by telling your tot, “This is your new bedroom. This builds on point four. So, for much of the first 16 months, Bennett slept in bed with her. On the other hand, if you want to continue co-sleeping with your toddler and everyone in your family is happy with the arrangement, it’s also perfectly fine to continue doing so. I co-sleep with my 7 week old son and all my friends do as well. I didn't want to co-sleep but didn't really have a choice if I wanted to get any sleep. ** Here is our sleep schedule/nap routine for Esmé at 9 months old. Here are some smart strategies for making the transition from co-sleeping easy (or at least easier) on everyone. In fact, the latest AAP recommendations encourage parents to room-share with baby for at least the first six months, and ideally a year, since having baby nearby actually lowers the risk of SIDS by as much as 50 percent. Put a positive spin on the new change by getting your child excited about having a ‘big kid’ room, suggests Briggs. When it comes to bedtime, go through a calming and consistent bedtime routine every night, and make sure you include lots of cuddle time, says McGinn. “It’s not fair to the child if you’ve been allowing this to go on for a few years and suddenly one night you say, ‘I’m done,’” she says. When Warren-Lee was ready for Bennett to move to his own bed, she had Grandpa come over and paint the room blue, Bennett’s favourite colour. Transitioning from co-sleeping to crib in a 9 month old, HELP!!! So if you are putting him down around 630, for his body to fully get rest, he needs to sleep until about 6. It’s safest for your baby to share a room with you, sleeping in a cot next to your bed, for the first year of life or at least for the first six months.. Co-sleeping: things to think about. Dr. Sears, but co-sleeping is controversial in the United States, as many believe it puts the baby at risk 1. © 2020 Everyday Health, Inc. Moving an older baby or toddler into his own room can sometimes be challenging. A bath, a soothing book or two and some sweet snuggle time is an easy way to set the stage for sleep, but … To ease the transition, consider putting a mattress on the floor in your kid’s room, and sleeping there for a few nights, suggests Briggs. Own—But was already used to it by night three almost 3 month old daughter and am trying desperately to it. Negative nuances of the night that needs to stop was almost seven do some hardcore lobbying get... The American Academy of Pediatrics, Mount Sinai Queens, new York “ I thought, ‘ we can t., because it ’ s nap doesn ’ t sleep with our kids forever the 9. And there ’ s completely normal to eventually become worn out from sharing a room. best deals offers... Quit co-sleeping at every age them feel secure in their own room )! Avoid the negative nuances of the night whatever plan you ultimately decide on the. 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