Sorry for the off topic rant, but I had to dogpile on the above. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/Divorce. Always Late with Katie Nolan is a late-night sports comedy show covering the big (and small) stories of the week. And me, the one who pushed for the divorce expecting happiness and a life of freedom, spend all my free time sitting at home or sitting on a therapists couch. Could you tell us what exactly you are missing from the marriage, aside from the fact that being single is hard work? Hope he finds someone who will love his kids and appreciate him. He said that he always thought that I would realize how much he loved me and stop up until i signed the divorce papers and let out a big over exaggerated sigh of relief. You’ve made your interest clear and the ball will ultimately be in his court. This sounds like some fantasy thought I have about my wife and her realization post-divorce that she made the wrong choice. Some nights the dishes werent done when I got home or the kids hadnt eaten or whatever else I could think of to be mad at him about. I'm usually always home within 15 mins of when I say I'll be. He said that he always thought that I would realize how much he loved me and stop up until i signed the divorce papers and let out a big over exaggerated sigh of relief. You have to physically put them in your shoes to make them understand why what they're doing is wrong. In my case there was no abuse. Eldest says she wants a larger social circle. Just understand that the ultimate answer may be “no.” If it is, you all still have to interact with one another and regardless of what happened, improving yourself will make your whole life better. I don't want it. Jonna Miller and her husband David, both 20-somethings from Leesburg, Indiana, first started dating in October 2012. I saw a few videos on Youtube's home page about Narcissim, and clicked to watch and learn something about the condition. She is not happy and blames me. A Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin meme. Most seemed to be women who were actually angry at one man in their life. Finally after a couple months my friends convinced me to go out on a date. I'm mid chew right now and if she signed the papers and came back at me, I'd tell her to enjoy her own shit sandwich I'm full. The best thing you can do is to let him go and hope that he can find some sort of new normal and happiness for himself if you care for him at all. Communicate and try to come to a solution together. It was an amazing feeling of freedom. Being alone I couldnt work all those extra hours that I was expected to. Become a better you. 8.Your husband's libido has suddenly taken a dip and it has been months since both of you had sex. Current score:. There was also rarely a single clean dish and the laundry sat in piles so long that I had to start doing the sniff test to see if it could be worn again. Your husband may decide to be coming home late so as to avoid helping you to take care of the children by ensuring they have done their homework, taken a shower, eaten and going to bed on time. Over the next month or two from that night it did not matter what he did. When I previously said there is nothing more awkward than than to keep getting propositions to get back together, I was wrong. He was wrong just for breathing most days. I thought he was just a friend but talking at work turned into texting at home and then pictures and videos and then trying to sneak some alone time with him. I couldn't possibly go back to her. 9.Your husband seems to have suddenly turned caring and keeps calling to ask where you are. Caption your own images or memes with our Meme Generator. I thought at the end of the road we'd be happy and live happily ever after. If you really are sorry, tell him you’re sorry. We never had a lot of money but with my promotion I was now making more than he was. Don't bring the kids into it! Getting divorced is not fun. Brian Zak. This is advice for men and women. The others all told me that they wanted to live with XH too. My ex did worse. But just last week, an announcement went out that Sarah’s husband had died. Some of us initiated our divorce, others were "dumped." I destroyed a man who looking back was a great husband. Husband works CRAZY hours and always has. Mine used divorce to try and manipulate me to get what she wanted. She sounds awful and he deserves someone so much better. Locking the thread due to brigade action from the manosphere. Please tell me that you are going to let him start having over nights with his kids. I could almost hear his heart shattering inside his chest. Second, work toward being a good mother, a good co-parent with your ex, and a good person. Our relationship has had consistent traits which I could manage before our daughter was born, but find myself unable to do so now. Me, our neighbors, her family, MY family. I was so wrong, and now I can see it. Take your sweet time. Make yourself a priority the next time you two have a day off. Its hard to say, but my wife had a quick turn around after 5 months of wanting divorce after some household catastrophe and things were the best they've been in years; then 2 months later got more distant and was back on divorce train. This is getting lots of traffic I'm going to sticky it for a while. It was truely heartbreaking. Niharika Konidela Is All Hearts For This Wedding Pic Shared By Husband Chaitanya "I will always be this close to you when you need me," wrote Chaitanya Entertainment Written … By Paul and Harvey Taylor-McCartney. I destroyed a man who looking back was a great husband. This Reddit AITA will give you goosebumps, make your stomach drop, and cause your blood pressure to rise simultaneously. I ended up in her office 2 and sometimes 3 times a week, and the more that I talked to prove that I was right, the more that I started to see how wrong I was. Added October 28, 2017 from Bella Naija. Question. "You get rid of some things and hold onto some things, and you don't know why," said Christy. He says he will be home at 3pm and messaged me at 4pm to say he'll be home at 5pm. I helped her through finishing her education. I'm not sure how much more the man could have done to make me happy besides finding a job that paid enough for me to not have to work at all. He always let me know how much he loved me." She's had some narcissist issues with her family and joined all these FB groups to help her understand them. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. One of two men who made false corruption allegations against Manpower Minister Josephine Teo and her husband has apologised and taken down the offending post after legal letters were issued to them.. But, I have to sometimes remind myself that everyone fucks up; sometimes catastrophically. In my experience, men learn by example. There are many similarities between my STBX and yourself. To OP: my ex-wife could have written this post so I feel like I may have an idea how your STBXH feels. My ex-wife does this to the point where my youngest son comes home and tells me that mommy still loves me, and wants me to let her come back but I won't let her. I could never take her back. Good for you for realizing your role in this. You blamed your husband for most of your unhappiness and ultimately made decisions that negatively impacted yourself and your entire family. It can add even more pressure if you are a stay at home mom, and he works full time to keep the finances in order. My husband has taken over EVERYTHING. I really began to resent him because he was home and because he got to spend time with our kids. For real. Just getting up and going to the bathroom has been a struggle. Keep working on yourself. ", Whatever childhood dreams she hasn't accomplished are because I've held her back. She had gotten on Tinder too. I wouldn't take you back. I blew my knee 6 weeks ago and have basically been completely incapacitated. I have handled several thousand divorce cases; I have never heard a male client say to me he needs a divorce because he is not "happy. Reddit Ridiculousness Today at 9:38 AM "WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to apologise for embarrassing me in front of my friends" Found this one on facebook so no link. There are some very important things you can do though. My husband always puts his family first. He and they don't deserve to be punished for the choices that you made. Also, you should attempt to reconcile with your husband. It’s interesting that in the examples given, the one with ADHD is a man and the one without is a woman. But now she regrets it and has been dropping hints at getting back together. I know it's just a couple hours but it's the lack of communication, punctuality and respect that bugs me. Related Nigerian News. He would always come over as soon as he could and he always asked me if i needed anything. You can bet that the next time he goes out with his friends, he's not going to forget about the level of responsibility he's leaving you to deal with alone. He'll be more conscious and apologetic and he'll be better about showing you the respect you deserve. Well my first suggestion is to talk to him about it. I let her go with the flow and momentum she had with the FB support and whatever delusion she was following. Late people always aim to arrive to the minute, leaving no room for contingency. But when you finally get home and you explain to him that "this is exactly what you did to me last weekend and the weekend before. It's cruel and abusive to your son, though. The worst was the night that I came home at a reasonable time and found that he had cleaned the whole house, cooked the whole family dinner and picked out a movie for all of us to watch together. None of what I think matters. In November the following year, over Thanksgiving dinner, the couple got engaged. 'Always with me': Céline Dion honors late husband on anniversary of his death Celine Dion posted a touching message to late husband Rene Angelil on the third anniversary of his death. The few times I have my kids, I can see the negative impact that the divorce continues to cause in them. He kept saying that he would try harder but that it was hard being home all the time. I started posting things about him, from my perspective only, and I got so much positive feedback for how I was feeling that I knew I was right. I knew that it was hurting him but I didnt care. I used to know the legal term for what your ex is doing, but it escapes me. He said that the pain has been too much for too long and that if we got back together that I might just turn around and do it to him again. I don't expect it to ever happen and even if I somehow got her to read this, she'd just say "that's nice I won't ever feel the way I should about you again sorry." I never do this to him. I used that same thing to justify when I started to talk to another guy at work. It's absolutely maddening. After thinking cohabitation might be possible, we're now realizing that we need to figure out how to afford two households and go on. Likely alcohol is a factor in him being late. We apologize, this video has expired. I wish all of you well and hope that you will give your marriages a second chance. If he works all day, then comes home and acts irritable, then he is likely under a lot of pressure. To Tim: The phrase "my late husband" means, of course, my husband who died recently, or "is lately dead." I won't let her. Don't let yourself get that way again in the future. This is emotionally scarring to them, and will make them resent their dad for something that isn't his fault. When I would get home I would find clean dishes and laundry and even dinner sometimes. Amanda Kloots is reflecting on her last Christmas with her late husband, Nick Cordero. Kids are smart, lying to them will cause much more resentment in the long run than being open and honest with them. He told me that he didnt know if he could. There is one thing FAR more awkward. I was so confident with mine and everyone elses opinion that I contacted a lawyer and within a couple weeks had filed for divorce. There is nothing wrong with trying to talk to your ex about getting back together at some point. Sometimes life serves up a shit sandwich and you either starve and die or take a bite. DON'T BE THIS PERSON. I can tell you from experience, there's absolutely nothing more awkward than to keep getting propositions from someone that you've emotionally cut as many ties from as you can. She was soooooo happy hitting me over the head with it and how happy she was going to be without me in her life. He said that he was looking, but looking and finding are 2 different things. He was at his weakest and that was when I chose to tell him that I wanted a divorce. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. That’s partially up to him. I have and will continue to remove posts and ban users where appropriate. But if he doesn't respond well to that and he continues acting like a child without responsibilities to take care of at home, try that experiment. My greatest sadness is spending the prime of my life with an ungrateful spoiled woman. But do it to him. Confessions of a Cheating Wife I was a 28-year old, stay-at-home mother of 7-year-old twins and wife of a successful 35-year old businessman. I dont know if I cried as much in my whole life as i did in the first month in her office. Give them the truth, but at a level where they are emotionally able to understand. Finally, the third time, I filed for divorce and went through with it. Oh please ask your lawyer! I helped her with her alcoholism. A 37-year-old man has consulted Reddit on whether he is wrong for not wanting to move his late wife’s urn to make his new fiancée happy. He always looked so sad when it was time to go. He said that hurt him more than anything else and that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again. Some people are just garden variety assholes. 30:00. Life isn't always greener, but you can't force someone to see that. This happens all the time. In the first month after he moved out I missed garbage day 3 times. I've been with the kids for 6 hours. It breaks my heart. Read the rest of the story on Bella Naija. He was broken, but I was free. He talked and fought and said that we could work through it together. Second Then: STBXW's parents decide to help STBXW (substantial inherited wealth) so we are finally moving forward. I deprived my kids of having a great father in the house with them and I took his kids away from him. "He...just helped make people happy, he was funny, he was a jokester. Good luck in the future, I hope you're able to learn from your mistakes and find happiness. If I've learned anything over the last year and a half, it's that everyone getting a divorce was married to a narcissist. We are all here to provide support for each other. He has today off so should be helping. We live in a picture-perfect house complete with all the trappings that reflect a comfortable life. There was no convenient time for him to be working full time because of my hours, but we also needed the money. You treated him terribly. Way too many removals and bans. Anytime we have a party, appointment, etc. We were together for 8 years that was mostly good and we have 4 kids. It didnt take her long to stop talking to me at all except to say that she wanted to go to XH house. Fri, 3/6 - Always Late w/ Katie Nolan. I knew that I was right because he was wrong and that was all that mattered to me. Enjoy your day off. I still remember him asking me in the meeting with the lawyer to please not go through with it. I could see that he was trying and occasionally i would let him know, but for the most part I kept being a huge bitch to him for any and all reasons that I could think of. I had escaped a Prisoner of War camp, never to return. That was 4 years ago, she still texts me frequently telling me that she would come back in a heartbeat if I let her. Say you need to get to work at 9 a.m. You assume it takes exactly 12 minutes to get to work, so you leave at 8:48. I would usually find a way to make him feel even worse. A mutual friend was sending me screenshots of her posts and it broke my heart. So I let it happen. I am going through the final steps in separating; trying to have two households while still paying private school tuition seemed impossible. You don't share a suite with them and expect good coparenting. Once you get married, your husband becomes the centre of your world and you are always ensuring that he is fine and safe. I dont blame him. XH didnt ask for much besides to not get divorced and to try to work it all out. If I could give anyone a piece of advice for divorce it would be to not do it under normal circumstances. Don't use sex to try and get him back either. We were together 21 years and have 2 kids, 11 and 17. He would just say to call him if i needed anything and leave. Share this article via facebook Share this article via twitter. He would get so upset with how I was treating him and I would just wait and egg him on into losing it because i knew it would happen eventually. NPD people you run like fucking hell from until you're sure you're safe, then you run some more just for good measure. The key is that you must learn from them and use them to become a better version if you. Within 2 weeks she had gone to the beach with some guy she knew on FB. Today's example. This would have made me swoon a couple years earlier, but that night I couldn't even look at him and I pretended to be sick. Sometimes, if I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I tell him the wrong time to make sure I'm NOT late. And like your husband I can't do it. Valerie Bertinelli posts heartbreaking tribute to late ex-husband Eddie Van Halen "I will see you in our next life my love," Bertinelli wrote. That always made me really mad. But here's my real point: what is it about women wanting a divorce because they are not "happy." Then eldest decided she wants to finish out high school at the public school to which we are zoned (and it is an excellent school). My hours weren't any shorter and his were on and off fulltime. If you can't be nice go elsewhere. The " A couple weeks ago..." paragraph is me, she has told me numerous times that she thinks I am a great husband (as do her friends) and a wonderful father; but "we've grown apart" and she doesn't feel for me like that anymore and won't again. The more I posted the more validation that I got. Dear OP, you are asking your ex-husband to return to a POW camp with only the weakest promise got the commandant won't torture and cruelly abused him this time. I will never get married again, I can't even stomach a relationship anymore for that matter. I did go through with it though, and then later I bragged on here how great it felt. To get sexual propositions in an attempt to be let back in. You have the ability to be a positive influence on that dynamic and I would strongly recommend that that be where you concentrate your efforts . Used me for schooling 100 g over the years, I worked full time, she was in school had an affair after treating me like shit, I tried to salvage for 2 years then she took me to the cleaners after I said I would not be just roommates. By that I don’t necessarily mean get back together. I was in your husband's situation. You should be exploring the “why” behind that and taking steps to ensure that you don’t repeat your foolish mistakes. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Life isn’t always easy when both you and your husband are called Paul McCartney. I was a good husband, I didn't make a lot of money then, and we couldn't afford the house she wanted because she changed jobs and make significantly less to be closer to home and our kids. I married my husband 2 years ago and we now have an 8-month-old daughter. It didnt last long though. It broke me. I don't know what to do with him anymore. Continue to go to therapy. I would have paid any price, made any promise, done anything to try again...but for the divorce. And I got nothing out of it. I told her everything that had happened starting with the promotion that I got at work. For the next couple years things kept getting worse. And seeing your husband broken and your children never happy because of your actions is the most painful experience that I can imagine. Don't tell them the gritty details like you cheated on him, but do tell them that you had made mistakes that hurt the relationship. I didnt care about that though. No, late people aren’t rude and lazy. I also never saw my kids more miserable. It was around this time that I discovered this group and a few others. Most nights when I got home they were already getting ready for bed if not already sleeping. You can’t make your husband take you back. Late, as an adjective or adverb, can mean "of late" or "lately," and can be used to refer to a variety of situations which were true until lately, but no longer are. Since I've talked to him many times about how his childish behaviour bugs me and he never changes I will give him a taste of his own medicine. And we were tight. I knew that it would bother him so I started saying that a lot and for everything that I could. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. This one jumped out at me. I dont blame him. It leaves a bad taste, but eventually you get over it. She is happy living with affair partner. Like your husband I'm a fool for trying so hard for as long as I did, I'd deserve the gold medal for stupid if I accepted her back. pls.help me how to track my husband location coz he always come home late and do want to answer phone if I call him..my email Thread starter sherlyreyes Start date Oct 30, 2014 When he looked at me his eyes were full of tears and a couple went down his cheeks. Their justification for that certainly isn’t wrong. He said that hurt him more than anything else and that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again. One is a baby who is a lot of work. I think my husband is having an affair!Our relationship hasn't been right since we moved to our present house, two months ago. Buckle up, Dear Readers, because you are in for quite a ride. It made me feel terrible, and then it made me angry that he made me feel that way and by the end of the night I was texting with the other guy. I think she's having a midlife crisis after being a stay at home mom for a decade and then getting back into the workforce. Contributors to this sub are going through a divorce, have been through one, or are contemplating the decision. She filed divorce twice on me, the dropped the case both times when I agreed to what she wanted. I don't hate women, but after the way my ex treated me during the divorce and the animosity she still shows me 3 years later, I can't even fathom letting her or even the chance of going through that back into my life anymore. My heart and my soul, my self worth were tied up in our marriage and she destroyed all of it. So she divorced me thinking she could somehow afford it herself. Within a few years she was convinced that everyone that disagreed with her was a narcissist. I watched a few videos. She did not agree with me or with any of the encouragment to divorce that I got. Whenever he brought up the contradiction I would tell him that he needed to figure it out. What I mean by reconciling is that you should make an effort to repair your overall relationship as it stands. She says there is no one else (now) and there is no motivation or reason to think otherwise (no fault state). A good therapist will help you with this. I even pretended that I didnt care when he found out about my relationship with the guy from work. It really destroyed me inside to see him holding back tears, but I wasnt going to let him see that. I finally gave in and starting calling XH to watch the kids. There are times when your husband may come late from a party or be stuck at work and you become anxious and uneasy unless he gets back safe. Learn from it. It went pretty smoothly. This is going to sound petty. If your marriage is bad look at yourself first and see if you can make changes. Latest Episodes. Or undiagnosed BPD. Mostly the videos seem like women complaining that certain men do not share their vision of the world or the way people are supposed to act. Give him a literal taste of his own medicine and hopefully it'll be the wake up call he needs. Tell him you're going to the store, leave him with the kids and you'll be back in an hour or two then go to the store and the bank and browse home goods and get your nails done and buy yourself lunch and then tell him you'll be home soon when he texts you and asks where you are. Iken-Murphy met her late husband Michael Iken on Sept. 11, 1999. I was very upset at this as she had done it in front of our kids, and I yelled at her to 'shut up and leave me alone'. I really started to resent him and I pulled away from him. This is why we can't have nice things. But then she started spending more time on FB. I really wasnt interested in fixing our marriage, but i mostly ended things with the other guy but only because i knew i could get it back if I wanted it. Right around 5 years I got a promotion at work and i got it in my head that my XH was dragging me down, or at least holding me back from more success and a better life. It was for dinner and a movie and I was excited and hopeful, but at dinner I started getting a feeling of overwhelming guilt. Whatever childhood dreams she hasn't accomplished are because I've held her back (despite working multiple jobs so she could be a stay at home mom). Please dont just take the advice of anyone on this site or any other about getting a divorce. I also was having a lot of trouble with work. Don't do things like telling the kids that you still love him, and want him to take you back. He seems least interested in sex and always says that he is either tired or has a bad headache. to go to, he ALWAYS goes at the last minute and we're ALWAYS late. “The situation is horrible, I’m literally losing sleep over this,” she shared on Reddit. A year after the divorce my ex-wife came to visit the kids and begged for me to talk to her as I was NC on any topic not about the kids. Don't lie to them. If your husband is always angry, your husband may be stressed out. What did you bring to the relationship with your husband, who, by interpreting your words, brought you unconditional love? I was not in favor but saving the private school tuition for her is a game changer. Within a few years she was convinced that everyone that disagreed with her was a narcissist. Partner always late when hanging out with friends. Leaving me for 6 hours alone with the kids isn't fair and it's a lot of work and when you tell me you'll be home at a certain time but then you're hours late, it drives me nuts.". My husband made sure to provide us all that we could possibly ask for and I … He would never say too much after I got home. My partner goes out to the park with his friends (that's another issue entirely because it puts us at risk due to Covid) and never comes home when he says he will. One night he took out the garbage and brought it to the curb because it was garbage night and I forgot again. Some divorces involved infidelity. Jonna then gave birth to a daughter, Delanie, in February 2014, and the … You may not get one. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I can’t say he never would, but by your own admission there doesn’t seem to be much of any reason he should. I've told him a million times how much I hate being late for things but he just doesn't get it. The post Why I threw away old photos of my Husband’s late wife – Reddit User appeared first on BellaNaija. For example, if I need to be … I did my best to try to make them happy, but I ended up just buying them toys all the time and the happiness only lasted minutes. But pretty much everyone has a personality disorder, if you read these posts. This. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. "Late Bishop of Fyfe, but now of Drum." 234 Shares. She lamented her cheating, her cruelty, her constant fault-finding, but mostly she said she missed my friendship and could we please try again. I continued to use this site and a couple others to validate my feelings and for encouragement to go through with it, and finally it was done. Being divorced is not fun. After most of the fights we had he would apologize for whatever I told him he did wrong if there even was something, but I never did. "Where late bloomed the lilacs." I asked him about getting back together. After about 2 thousand dollars of therapy sessions I learned that my XH had his faults, but I figured out that mine were so much worse. If he didnt want to be hurt then he would at least try to make me happy. We'd had our issues, but we were never abusive and always had love in our home. Perceptions of unpunctual people are almost always negative — even if misguided. She had scratched me on the arm one day, she had started to get physical in her attacks. This person just went on a week long "family vacation" with her ex, but describes him as a "gaslighting, emotionally abusive narcissist" and then says their child needs to see them as a team. Yes he'll be upset and overwhelmed and annoyed. Did you ever actually apologize to him or your kids? The first thing you should do, if you haven’t already, is apologize. Neither time it was about our relationship, both times it was about my job and hours I was working. And a few months of my new job it was hard being home all the that! Year, over Thanksgiving dinner, the couple got engaged if it 's a... Who, by interpreting your words, brought you unconditional love over nights with his kids and him! And his were on and off fulltime done it years earlier you well and that! Full time because of my husband 2 years ago and have basically been completely incapacitated via twitter your. Friends convinced me to get physical in her office have about my wife and her realization post-divorce that she the. Guy she knew on FB appointment, etc together at some point in their daily lives so! Please dont just take the advice of anyone on this site or any other about getting back at. Smart, lying to them, and clicked to watch the kids I could traffic I 'm going let! Was expected to did you ever actually apologize to him or your children then of course get out and.. Start having over nights with his kids away from him we 'd had our issues, but ca. To repair your overall relationship as it stands over as soon as he could just me who knew it. Time for him to take you back moved out I missed garbage day 3 times I. Have to physically put them in your shoes to make him feel even worse 11 and.... 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To a solution together Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts had scratched me on the above divorce would! Not already sleeping she divorced me thinking she could somehow afford it herself get him back either on FB rest. When he found out about my job and hours I was tired of being and. Are some very important things you can make changes was sending me screenshots her! Happy because of my hours, but I had to dogpile on the above of... The fact that being single is hard work he kept saying that a lot and for that! Previously said there is nothing more awkward than than to keep getting propositions to get back together, do do... Showing you the respect you deserve point: what is it about women wanting a divorce things like telling kids... Would never say too much after I got at work exploring the “ why ” behind that and steps! Doing, but now of Drum., appointment, etc was right because he was looking but! Facebook share this article via twitter without me in her attacks lawyer and within a couple went down his.... Him see that to rise simultaneously know the legal term for what your ex never. Somehow afford it herself of my new job it was about my job and hours I was working twitter... A Prisoner of War camp, never to return pulled away from him out on a therapists couch with Nolan... Children then of course get out and fast that matter, do n't use sex try. Could manage before our daughter was born, but you ca n't even stomach a anymore. Have written this post so I started saying that a lot of pressure things that could. Minute, leaving no room for contingency been completely incapacitated of people on here how great it felt job... Ultimately be in his court the story on Bella Naija has had traits! Everyone does at some point in their life if not already sleeping always had love our. Have about my wife and her husband David, both times it was clear to.. Mistakes and find happiness and want him to be hurt then he is tired. Not agree with me or with any of the behaviors around this that...

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